The Key to Knowing Ourselves Is Meditation

Meditation practice awakens our trust that the wisdom and compassion that we need are already within us. It helps us to know ourselves: our rough parts and our smooth parts, our passion, aggression, ignorance and wisdom. The reason that people harm other people, the reason that the planet is polluted and people and animals are not doing so well, these days is that individuals don’t know or trust or love themselves enough. The technique of sitting meditation called shamatha-vipashyana (“tranquillity-insight”) is like a golden key that helps us to know ourselves.

In shamatha-vipashyana meditation, we sit upright with legs crossed and eyes open, hands resting on our thighs. Then we simply become aware of our breath as it goes out. It requires precision to be right there with that breath. On the other hand, it’s extremely relaxed and soft. Saying, “Be right there with the breath as it goes out,” is the same thing as saying, “Be fully present.” Be right here with whatever is going on. Being aware of the breath as it goes out, we may also be aware of other things going on—sounds on the street, the light on the walls. These things capture our attention slightly, but they don’t need to draw us off. We can continue to sit right here, aware of the breath going out.

But being with the breath is only part of the technique. These thoughts that run through our minds continually are the other part. We sit here talking to ourselves. The instruction is that when you realize you’ve been thinking you label it “thinking.” When your mind wanders off, you say to yourself, “Thinking.” Whether your thoughts are violent or passionate or full of ignorance and denial; whether your thoughts are worried or fearful; whether your thoughts are spiritual thoughts, pleasing thoughts of how well you’re doing, comforting thoughts, uplifting thoughts, whatever they are—without judgment or harshness simply label it all “thinking,” and do that with honesty and gentleness.

The touch on the breath is light: only about 25 percent of the awareness is on the breath. You’re not grasping and fixating on it. You’re opening, letting the breath mix with the space of the room, letting your breath just go out into space. Then there’s something like a pause, a gap until the next breath goes out again. While you’re breathing in, there could be some sense of just opening and waiting. It is like pushing the doorbell and waiting for someone to answer. Then you push the doorbell again and wait for someone to answer. Then probably your mind wanders off and you realize you’re thinking again—at this point use the labeling technique.

It’s important to be faithful to the technique. If you find that your labeling has a harsh, negative tone to it, as if you were saying, “Dammit!,” that you’re giving yourself a hard time, say it again and lighten up. It’s not like trying to shoot down the thoughts as if they were clay pigeons. Instead, be gentle. Use the labeling part of the technique as an opportunity to develop softness and compassion for yourself. Anything that comes up is okay in the arena of meditation. The point is, you can see it honestly and make friends with it.

Although it is embarrassing and painful, it is very healing to stop hiding from yourself. It is healing to know all the ways that you’re sneaky, all the ways that you hide out, all the ways that you shut down, deny, close off, criticize people, all your weird little ways. You can know all of that with some sense of humor and kindness. By knowing yourself, you’re coming to know humanness altogether. We are all up against these things. So when you realize that you’re talking to yourself, label it “thinking” and notice your tone of voice. Let it be compassionate and gentle and humorous. Then you’ll be changing old stuck patterns that are shared by the whole human race. Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.

- Pema Chodron.

Anatomy of Meditation

Man lives in two worlds. One, the external world and the other being the internal world. We all are aware of the external world. It is what man sees with his eyes. Inner world is the world which exists within man. It is beyond man eyes. Meditation helps us to focus or rather helps us to throw light on this inner world.

The advantages of Meditation:-

Detachment- Meditation gives understanding which leads to detachment and this leads to true self. Meditation helps us to get detached from all forms of attachment (physical, mental & emotional) which helps us to become true self. This true self leads to Joy & Striving and thus gives us a liberated life.

Confrontation- Meditation is all about confrontation with your self. In the process of confrontation questions arise. Throw light if answers are required.

Questions + Ideas + Plan + Purpose + Will power = Endless path to infinity

Transformation- Meditation helps us to transform from impure self to pure self. It leads to purification at all three levels (physical, emotional & mental).

Breaking Limitations- Meditation helps one to break his/her limitations by putting light on inner world. Breaking limitations is essential if one does not wants to break himself with limitations. Limitations are nothing but are very own cleavages and flaws. Cleavages and Prison give us mechanical suffering. Prisons are our mental trap, emotional trap & physical trap.

Perfection- Meditation helps us to put light which leads the way to perfection. Perfection brings Reception, Accumulation & Distribution.

The average building material of inner houses are as follows-

Lies-30%, Jealousy-10%, Hatred-10%, Gossip-5%, Goodwill-2%, Depression-3%, Anger-5%, Sex-35%.

Plan- Meditation helps us to plan for our soul. There are 38 plan steps in the science of meditation.

Meditation leads to discrimination, better choice and responsibility. It helps us to develop independent self as it aids in withdrawing one from glamour, illusion, urges and drives. Things changes when people change their hearts and expand their awareness and consciousness. This change can be achieved only through meditation.

Meditation has certain requirements like Purity of life, ability to keep joy in striving conditions. It also has certain hindrances like wrong thinking, distortion of facts, falsification of issues, hypocrisy, wrong motives. In a nutshell meditation is all about understanding which brings silence. It leads light from darkness.

As, meditation has advantages it is also bound by certain dangers of inner world.

Danger can be defined as a moment in which we confront the possibility of loosing life, possessions or attachments.

Seven main dangers of inner world:-

Hypocrisy- When one learns teachings but does not apply in daily life then it creates Malignant Hippocrates.

Egoism- If one learns the teachings and uses for self-interest than he develops Ego.

Vanity- If one learns the teachings and believes that he is the embodiment of teachings then it creates a disease called Vanity.

Fanatism- If one learns with limited frame of intellect then one develops Fanatism.

Obscenity- If one learns teachings and uses it to acquire power then he develops Obscenity.

Heartlessness- If one learns and uses to find faults to gain superiority or fame he develops Heartlessness.

Insanity- If he learns and his mental, emotional and physical nature does not has the required purity he develops Insanity.

Demonstrating signs for cultivating meditation-

1)Sincerity 

2) Unselfishness

3)Humility 

4) Sense of Responsibility 

5) spiritual discrimination 

6) Fearlessness 

7) Purity

Relationship Science

The quality of your life comes down to the quality of your relationships. That’s what life is. Relationships.

A Relationship is the way in which in any two things are connected and communicate. A Relationship is the way in which in any two things act, regard, and behave between each other. The only real question is the way in which you connect, communicate, act, regard, and behave with others—because you cannot control others. You are only responsible for yourself—and the only real question is whether or not you handle yourself with quality. You will fall short, but you must forgive yourself for your shortcomings, and you must forgive others for their shortcomings. Practice Instant and Infinite Forgiveness. This helps.

Good relationships do not come from mastering others. Good relationships come from mastering oneself.

The funny thing about relationships is that you can tell another person exactly what they need to do to change, heal, and improve their relationships, and they will still screw up their relationships. Why is that? Human Ego. People do not want to change, heal, and improve themselves. People want to change, heal, and improve the other person—otherwise known as “control”. And control is not the way it works. All a person ever really needs is acceptance. Acceptance is the way it works. Appreciation is the way it works. Compromise is the way it works—and that means Sacrifice is the way it works. No one likes to hear it.

The Only Thing that Ruins Relationships is the Selfishness of the Human Ego. Desire. Emotion and Mind.

Desire = Lack. Emotion and Mind = Reaction and Opinion.

Do you understand?

Relationship = Communication.

A Good Relationship = Good Communication

Good communication is the ability to share feelings, thoughts, and ideas — not bash each other around with emotional reactions to the rigid intellectual opinions of each other’s minds. It’s simply a matter of Openness. Relationships are a reflection of the quality in which you act, regard, and behave towards others. Be kind. Care. Listen.

The Secret to a Good Relationship is to be Selfless and Sensitive to the Other Person’s Needs.

The only problem with that little equation is that we live in a world of ego—and just because you may be working to transcend your own ego—does not mean that the other person is. And what their ego wants and what a person really needs are two entirely different things. You must discern between whether or not you are serving the ego (the illusions) of another or their true intrinsic needs. This is true strength. The world is full of ‘yes men’, but Perception, Power, and Wisdom are within the ability to say, “No”. Nine times out of ten, it’s the things you don’t do that keep you safe and make you successful, because this leaves you with “The One Thing Out of Ten” that is effective and actually works—the proper direction.

Relationships change, evolve, and grow—just like everything changes, evolves, and grows. And that is the natural way of things. And this is the eternal way of things. Life is a series of stepping stones. You either change, evolve, and grow with Warmth, Wisdom, and Understanding—or you wither up, grow cold, and die trying to sustain the illusions of your own ego and mind. Egos fall. Minds crack. Things change. The nature of relationships change. All you have to do is redefine the nature of your relationships, as they do.

Sometimes you have to hold on to others. Sometimes you have to let them go. Wisdom is knowing which and when to do so. Love is allowing others to do what they need to do, even when it hurts. But pain is only an inner contradiction to an opinion. And all you have to do is change your mind and accept things. You have to allow others to go their own way. Love them anyway, and embrace them in your arms, when they come back. And if they never come back, remember the good things. Nothing else matters.

Who destroys people’s relationships? People. People destroy their own relationships. People destroy their own relationships with their own selfishness and insensitivity towards each other. People destroy their own relationships with their own egos, their own dysfunction, their own emotional imbalances, and their own rigid intellectual opinions. They push the blame on everyone and everything else, but in the end—they have no one else to blame—but themselves. You either handle yourself with quality—or you don’t.

Maliciousness. Sadly, this world does contain malicious people (those that cause harm), and the most dangerous relationships are those involving abuse. There is no real way for me to cover relationships, without covering this. If you’re in an abusive relationship—Ditch It. This is the only true answer. Leave.

There are only two alternatives to Relationships—Fix It—or Ditch it—because dysfunction doesn’t work.

Beyond all this surface human stuff, the Deeper Secret Wisdoms of Relationships are in understanding that everything is in Relationship with everything else. This is the underlying nature of reality. You will never be able to see it, if you’re still stuck in the limited human stuff—ego—emotion and mind. Evolve.

Everything in life is in Relationship with everything else in life. Everything is Connected. Everything is in a constant communication. Everything is in a constant state of interacting. The only real question is the quality of the connection, the quality of the communication, the quality of the interaction. Everything is Energy. Everything is a Feeling. And the Quality of Your Life is within the Ability to Feel Everything. The Quality of Your Life is within the Ability to Relate to Everything. Life’s Mystical. Life’s a Relationship.

MIND

Mind – Definition

THE MIND IS AN “EMBODIED AND RELATIONAL PROCESS THAT REGULATES THE FLOW OF ENERGY AND INFORMATION”.

“EMBODIED”: THE MIND MAKES ITSELF KNOWN THROUGH AN ORGAN OF THE BODY, THE BRAIN.

“RELATIONAL”: OUR MINDS REFLECT THE ENVIRONMENT AROUND US. WE ARE CONSTANTLY BEING SHAPED BY THE PEOPLE AROUND US, RESPONDING TO THEIR HABITS, SPEECH, GESTURES, AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.

“PROCESS”: MIND IS AN ACTIVITY. IT ISN’T STATIC BUT DYNAMIC.

“REGULATE”: THE JUMBLE OF DATA THAT THE UNIVERSE PRODUCES WOULD BE CHAOTIC UNLESS SOMETHING ORGANIZED IT INTO A COHERENT REALITY. TO KEEP REALITY INTACT, EACH PART MUST BE REGULATED WITH EVERY OTHER PART.

“FLOW”: THERE IS AN UNINTERRUPTED STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS TO PARALLEL THE UNINTERRUPTED STREAM OF EXTERNAL EVENTS.

“ENERGY”: TO KEEP THE FLOW GOING TAKES ENERGY, AT ALL LEVELS FROM THE IMMENSITY OF THE BIG BANG TO THE MICRO LEVEL OF IONS PASSING THROUGH THE CELL MEMBRANE OF A NEURON.

“ INFORMATION”:EVERY PIECE OF DATA CAN BE SEEN AS INFORMATION, CONTAINING A BIT OF MEANING.