Practical humility:
1. Keep your feedback loop large. On
any project, leaders and followers co-create each other. There is constant
input and output. If you get input only from your closest circle, you won't be
in touch with the whole picture.
2. Stay flexible. It's not hard to detect
when someone wants to hear only praise and support for their own ideas. Be
flexible enough to allow your core beliefs to be challenged. Such beliefs make
the ego think it's always right, a dangerous delusion.
3. Welcome criticism and know your opposition.
Leaders who rise high often feel insecure about their position. They are
constant targets of jealousy and criticism. Since this is inevitable, start
early on to embrace other points of view, accommodating them when you can and
at the very least listening to your critics and taking them seriously. There's
no better way to disarm them.
4. Be good at giving sincere feedback and
be alert to the repercussions. Everyone takes notice of how praise and blame
are handed out. No one is indifferent. Make sure your feedback doesn't demean
anyone, and if you are in doubt about hurt feelings, see the person privately.
"Are we okay?" isn't enough. Look and listen to their personal
reactions.
5. Don't claim a monopoly on the truth.
Keep in mind that you do not see the whole picture. This will instill a desire
to hear as many perspectives as possible.
6. In any meeting, never lose sight of one
central question, "What do these people need?" Never leave the room
feeling confused about this. Behind every discussion, somebody needs something.
Your ego needs are just part of the mix.
7. Know the difference between what
somebody needs and what they want. We all want more of anything that is
available; that's how the ego is designed. But most of the time, what we
actually need isn't clear. Ego and emotions stand in the way. If you can state
your real need in any situation, undistracted by what your ego wants, you will
qualify as extremely clear-sighted.
It's undeniable that the ego, with
its focus on I, me, and mine, plays an essential role. The hidden trap as far
as the ego goes is that we seem to need one all the time, the stronger the
better. Leaders at the top are expected to be decisive, certain, and
self-directed in the face of pressures from all directions. Yet even in this
real-world scenario there should be a value on setting ego aside temporarily,
not simply to make a show of being humble but to get things to work better.